


A matter of ancestry

by CannibaLilly



Series: Physiological Differences [4]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fights, Fluff, Makeup, Prison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 12:52:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1186419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CannibaLilly/pseuds/CannibaLilly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots about the differences in human and Time Lord physiology.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A matter of ancestry

**Author's Note:**

> This will make more sense once you've read the first Parts of this series!
> 
> I wasn’t sure if I should publish this at all. It’s kinda weird and pretty pointless, but then again I put some effort into the scenery, so I guess it’s worth a try. As always: let me know what you think & how I can improve~

The Harlequin-guard tilted its head at Donna, she saw him through the bars of the cell, and the shiny bells on its hat silently jiggled. At first those monochrome clowns had scared Donna silly, but now, two solid weeks in their clutches, the only thing she felt while looking at them was anger.

She remembered the day she and the Doctor had come here. It had been the morning after she’d emptied half of the TARDIS’s alcohol stock and suffered from the nastiest hang-over of her life. The Doctor had offered to take her to the most silent planet in creation and, feeling too sick to argue, Donna had agreed.

The planet turned out to be looking like an old movie, not only because of the lack of any colour, but also because the whole landscape showed criss-crossed glitches now and then, just like a broken telly. The only creatures living there were the natives, those colourless harlequins that never spoke a word. And since they never said anything, couldn’t write or draw, they had no names.

Donna hadn’t liked the planet much. The residents were creepy clowns who never talked and the surroundings looked like a broken TV-show, but at least it had been silent.  
And then the Doctor had come.

The most talkative creature of all time on planet mute – Donna should have known this wouldn’t end well and of course: Hardly twenty minutes after their appearance they had been thrown into prison. No one told them why, natch, but the ginger was sure the Doctor’s voice had simply been too much for this planet.

 

This was partly why she was cross with her Martian. She was also annoyed because he hadn’t found a way to escape, yet. Sharing a poky cell with him didn’t exactly pour oil on the troubled water of their friendship, so they hadn’t been talking to each other for two days. This meant there had been no _single_ sound in two days. The floor was designed to swallow every sound of footsteps and the shackles were muted, too.

Donna was sure that she was slowly losing her mind in all this silence and for the first time in ages she wished the Doctor would throw one of his endless monologues – of course she was too stubborn to ask him and he was too stubborn to simply start. They were in a stalemate.

 

The harlequin tilted its head at her again, just as if it was mocking her, and Donna poked her tongue out at it. The clown made a startled face. Donna grinned then she recognized a grin on the Doctor’s face, too, from the corner of her eye. He saw her, seeing him and stopped smiling, instead he put his icy, pouting look back on and so did Donna.

She looked back at the harlequin and winced. The monochrome alien was poking its tongue out at her and now looked really creepy. When it recognized Donna’s shock, it grinned like she’d done before and then stopped abruptly to look icily back at her, just like the Doctor. It was mimicking them.

Donna shuddered and pulled her legs up onto the seat of the bed. She hated those aliens. She wanted to go back to the TARDIS and she wanted a cup of tea and a real meal – not those colourless mashes.

And, first of all, she wanted her bathroom! Of course they offered them a loo and fresh water to shower and brush their teeth, but well… this was hardly enough. Donna’s hair was a mess and to her misfortune she’d chosen to wear a dress that showed quite a lot of her legs. She hated how women in movies could spent years in dungeons or other hostile surroundings and always had perfectly shaved legs.

Her mood darkened even more when she threw a glare at the Doctor. Great, he looked brilliant, as if they had just left the blue box. Oh, she hated him for this the most right now. She wrapped her arms around her legs to hide them and rested her chin on her knees, death-glaring at the handsome Martian.

Until he caught her look. It must have looked really peeved because he instantly put his beaten-puppy look on. Now Donna felt guilty. She softened her look and sighed, finally she had had enough of this fight.

“Oh, stop looking at me like that,” she told the Doctor who instantly smiled brightly at her.  
“You’re not mad at me anymore?” he asked and the words bubbled out of him. The punishment of silence really must have hurt him.

As an answer, Donna mumbled something undistinguishable into her wrists. He positively beamed at her.

“Great, because I’m working on a plan to get us out, don’t worry! We’ll be back with the old girl in a tick,” he promised. “Of course I’m a little stuck with the plan, because, oh, I missed talking to you! I can never think when I have no-one to talk, you know? So, as I said, I’m just a little stuck, but now that we’re talking with each other again I’m sure I can think of something!”

Donna rolled her eyes, amused. How had he managed to keep silent for that long? It nearly must have killed him, the stubborn git. While Donna kept thinking that to herself the Doctor hadn’t stopped talking for a second.

“-which could be our way out if we don’t mess it up and- what’s wrong with your legs by the way? Are you hurt, Donna?” he suddenly changed the subject and eyed his companion up. Donna blushed and pulled her legs even closer to herself.

“No, I’m fine. Just get us out of here,” she replied firmly.

“Are you sure? I’ve been watching you for the past days- Err, not on purpose , of course, just looking and recognizing- not that you’re not worth watching, it’s just- It’d be creepy and- Never mind, I just thought: She seems to be uncomfortable about her legs, that what I thought,“ now he was talking so fast the he was interrupting himself in doing so.

“Doctor, slow down or you’ll bite your tongue off,” Donna mocked. “And I am not hurt I just-,” her cheeks burned embarrassed. “I’m just missing my own bathroom, alright?”

The Doctor frowned, obviously completely puzzled.  
“They have a toilet, just down the corridor,” he told her slowly, wondering how she’d managed to survive the past two weeks without that knowledge.

“Not that, dumbo!” she jabbed him in the ribs. “There are things a woman needs to do now and then and obviously those clowns’ve never heard of such problems.” Donna shot him a don’t-be-so-thick-glare.

The Doctor blinked blankly at her.  
“So… it’s that time of the month for you?” he carefully asked. In return Donna’s face grew even redder.

“Not that!” she snapped angrily and the movement in front of their cell told Donna that the harlequin had never ever heard someone shout before and just jumped in shock. Grimly satisfied that she’d repaid the creep he’d given her, she leaned back against the cell wall and said, as nonchalant as possible: “I need a shave, ok. I know you blokes just expect women to exist with a smooth skin and all that, but the reality is different. Sorry to disappoint your expectations.”

To her surprise the Doctor didn’t look disgusted or embarrassed. He just chuckled softly.  
“Are you laughing at me?!” Donna wondered hurt.  
“No, why should I?” he smiled. “The smooth skin is just a temporary ideal of beauty in your culture. In fact humans still have the predisposition to grow a fur. Look at it as a memento from your ancestors. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Oi!” she exclaimed. “Are you calling me an ape?!”  
“We-ll,” he shrugged. Donna started hitting his arm and he had to take some steps back to escape her attack.

“You’re such an idiot!” she growled. “Don’t pretend the almighty Time Lords have always been like that! I bet your ancestors weren’t much more glorious than mine!”  
“I did not evolve from apes!” he replied. “In fact, Time Lords are closer related to Terileptil than to humans.”

Donna remembered a reptile-like alien the Doctor had shown her some time ago, that he’d called “Terileptil”.  
“So that’s why you look like you’ve smuggled a shaver in here?” she wondered annoyed. “Because your people evolved from frogs instead of apes? And that’s something you feel superior for?”

The Doctor threw a hurt glare at her.  
“We didn’t evolve from them, we are just related.”  
“ _Closely_ related.”  
“At least I don’t have to worry about growing a fur after a few days!”  
“Right, you couldn’t grow a beard if you tried, Time _boy_!”

 

A gloved hand grabbed Donna’s arm all of a sudden. She startled and turned around to see that two of the muted clowns had entered their cell. Before she or the Doctor could wonder what was going on, they were dragged out of the poky prison.

Finally they were out of there! Donna blinked up at the sun in the sky and a happy laugh broke form her lips.  
“They let us out, but why?!”

The Doctor slowly rubbed his neck like he wasn’t entirely happy about what just happened. Being thrown out of a prison seemed to be something new, even for him.

“Our row… I guess we’ve been a little too loud for them so they simply chucked us out…”  
Donna beamed. Maybe this meant they hadn’t exactly made some new friends, but she could do without creepy clowns on her Christmas card list anyhow.

“That’s fine with me,” she said. “I just want to go back. I am knackered and I miss my bathtub.”  
The Doctor shook his head with a smile.  
“Humans. You’re so fragile. Sometimes I wonder how you manage not to get extinct.”  
“Oh, because you Time Lords are so much better than we are?” Donna asked, slowly she’d had enough of this nonsense.  
“Not better, just… more carefully arranged.”

Donna snorted and opened her mouth to shoot him a reply, but the Doctor interrupted her: “Let’s not fight about this again. I thought you just wanted to go back to the TARDIS?”  
“Fine,” Donna agreed reluctantly and linked arms with the Doctor. “But this isn’t over,” she promised.  
“I knew it wouldn’t be that easy,” he mumbled.


End file.
